[659일째(659th day)] The time....

I'm so sad as the time passes more and more.

To add the age every year's also sad, but I'm feeling my health gets worse every year.

I'm often going to some clinic or hospital, I think I almost live everyday in orthopedics cause I have pain of back due to turtle neck syndrome, often go to internal medicine department due to headache and chronic gastritis. 

I've never donated blood for my lifetime. Whenever I go to donate blood, they always said to me "you can't donate blood. Because it has low in iron in your body. Come back here if you have high in iron after."

But I haven't anemia. Test result was always so. I think blood pressure is a little low than another people not hypotension. 

Anyway I visited to internal medicine department today due to headache and indigestion, had an injection and ate pill to be prescribed, so it feels getting better than this morning. It might be cause by chilly weather, but I feel bad these days...

I don' know why I am consecutively sick recently for a few years. My soulmate passed away, my life is so tough, do my heart and body all sick due to it? But I'm living very hard for my bucket list which all tours MLB ball parks, praying for my Mir and me and my favorite baseball player every single day, but is my heart empty? Or is my mom who passed away when I was 16 years old missing me? 

Even though I go to my mom and soulmate, I wanna go to them after achieve my bucket list...

I just wish I find out the most important thing of my life and wanna live like this ASAP.

Anyway life's a itinerary to have end......